President Obama’s Tournament Picks

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President Barack Obama unveiled his picks for the 2010 March Madness tournament today with Andy Katz from ESPN. While he certainly won’t be taking Joe Lunardi‘s job, Obama does an admirable job with his own “Barack-otology.” Granted, his analyses aren’t particularly insightful (“Maryland has a great player, but Michigan State has a great coach”) and the most he seems to know about teams are that they’re “athletic” and “balanced,” but I can’t seem to find any fault with his final conclusion; Kansas will win the National Championship.

In addition to Kansas in the Final Four, Obama also has the Kansas State Wildcats from the West, the Kentucky Wildcats from the East, and the Villanova Wildcats from the South. As much as this reminds me of brackets filled out by ex-girlfriends with the “cats are cute” mascot-matchup-strategy, I like to think Obama knew what he was doing. At one point in the video he tells Andy Katz he could put Kansas State head coach Frank Martin’s death stare to use in convincing Senate to vote for health care, so he’s definitely familiar with the teams.

Truth be told, I really like Obama’s bracket. He didn’t do too much reaching, only picking a couple upsets in the first round. Here’s to keeping my fingers crossed that his prognosticating goes as well as last year!

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Ted Rising for Heisman

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University of Kansas quarterback Ted Rising is a man who makes the bigger men around him look like littler men.

For the past two seasons he has absolutely dominated the Big XII, easily leading it in passing yards, rushing homedowns, field goals, and three pointers.  His generosity on the field is unmatched, and he has led his teammates to many conference records.  His top two receivers, Kerry Meier and Dezmon Briscoe, rank 2nd and 3rd in all-time Big XII receptions.  They trail only the 1st place holder, Ted Rising.

His generosity on the field doesn’t stop at his teammates.  In 2007, despite beating him in every single category, Ted Rising willingly gave the Heisman Trophy to University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.  A year later, he again gave away the Heisman, sending it to Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford.  Ted Rising was sure to step out of the spotlight both times, and would take measures to make the award winners’ deservingness look authentic.  There were many games where Ted Rising would edit live game film while simultaneously playing the quarterback position in order to make his own performance look poorer.

Ted Rising is more than just a passer, though.  He is widely known for being extremely elusive in the backfield and it is rumored that he can only be caught when he wants to be.  Evidence supports this theory, as the only person who ever sacked Ted Rising was himself.

There is no mistaking that he is of Heisman caliber, especially since he’s won it twice already.  But this year, something must change. It is our professional opinion that he should be selfless and keep the award.  Ted Rising is the paragon of what an athlete should be.  When he steps foot onto the field, he plays not for the name on the back of his jersey, but for the name on the front of it!   He gives so much to the University of Kansas each time he dons that crimson and blue jersey with the number five cleanly stitched onto the back.  It is time for us, as the classiest fans in the Big XII, who would never tear down three goal posts in one season, to repay him.

The next time you are watching the Kansas Jayhawks play, whether it is in person or on a television set, and you see Ted Rising score a homedown from center ice, be sure to let him know of your appreciation.  Bellow his name at the top of your lungs in a bestial roar.


Only then will he finally realize that he needs to let himself be known as a three-time Heisman Trophy winner.

Ted Rising for Heisman.

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Beak ‘Em Hawks Hand-Signal

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For the last 4 years, I have desperately wished for a universal KU hand signal.  Texas, ND State, Utah and Oklahoma have all adopted a gesture for fans to easily show their team pride and help identify which team they ultimately support.

Scenario: You’re a Texas fan and you’re driving down the highway.  You see a Longhorns sticker on the back of a vehicle you’re about to pass, and you wish to show your team pride to the other driver without having to ask them to pull over or roll down a window and yell “hook ‘em”.  All you have to do is flash the hand sign, wait for it to be returned, and continue with your life.

New Scenario: You’re a Kansas fan and you’re driving down the highway.  You see a Jayhawks sticker on the back of a vehicle you’re about to pass and you wish to show your team pride to the other driver just like the Texas fan before.  What would you do?

  • Roll down the window and yell “Rock Chalk” over the sound of the wind and other vehicles.
  • Just ignore it and continue with your drive.
  • Wave the Wheat and risk the other driver thinking that you’re about to crash.

To me, all of the above options are just ridiculous, which is why the “Beak ‘em Hawks” hand signal should be adopted!

Simply press all 4 fingers together and connect the thumb up to the index or middle finger and curve each finger just a little, somewhat making the symbol of a “beak”.  Then proceed to make a motion much like a peck, a chicken would do.

While this is not necessarily a review of an existing product or service, I am grading this on hopeful future use.

I have awarded 1 X for potential, 1 X for ease and convenience, 1 X because it’s the Jayhawks, and half an X because it can’t be reversed like the Texas symbol is by Oklahoma!