Standard Time

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It has now been almost three days since I was forced to turn my clocks back an hour, marking the end of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and the beginning of Standard Time (ST) . The old saying, “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone” definitely applies in this case.  As I mentioned, it has been only 68 hours since the transition, and I’ve already slipped into a mild case of (self-diagnosed) seasonal depression!

If you’re not familiar, Standard Time is actually pretty inefficient in maximizing useful sunlight.  The concept of Daylight Savings was instituted “to adjust daylight hours to when most people are awake and about.” In other words, Daylight Savings Time = More Evening Daylight.  I realize that obviously there just isn’t as much sunlight in the Northern Hemisphere during the winter months (especially the further North you are) as there is during the summer, but that is NO excuse for the sunset to occur at 5:20 PM!  The only people I can see enjoying this arrangement are ugly people, people wearing night vision goggles, prostitutes, and ugly prostitutes wearing night vision goggles.

In fact, people claim that the benefits of DST’s extra afternoon sunlight include increased retail sales, reduction of traffic fatalities, and a reduced need for artificial light.  Wouldn’t it then make the most sense to do away with Standard Time in favor of DST  in the winter months, when daylight hours are at a premium?  Luckily, there are a handful of communities around the world full of intelligent people that have done away with Standard Time and observe Daylight Savings Time year-round. For the next 4 months, I’ve pretty much decided I will be spending my time figuring out how to move to one of these magical places. Namely, Pickle Lake, Ontario.

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Manu Ginobili’s Bat-Hunting Skills

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Unable to establish a working relationship between man and beast (like the Raiders’ special teams pigeon), a fed up San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili reminded a bat flying around AT&T Center Saturday night that it was not in the current lineup and needed to GTFO.  Not much is known about the bat itself, except that it marks the first time* an NBA game has been delayed due to a bat playing the 6th man of a box-and-one zone.  Is it just coincidence then, that the bat chose to take part in the Spurs’ Halloween home game?  It seems pretty obvious to me.  That was definitely no bat.  It was a stone cold vampire!

Manu knocked out that little rodent with such skill, I was tempted to double-check his NBA profile to make sure that Ginobili wasn’s just a nickname disguising his birth-name of Manu Van Helsing!  Despite his lack of an established vampire-killing name, I can only assume that his Argentinian upbringing gives him some super-vampire-hunting-skills that us Americans just don’t have.  After recognizing this fact, I took the time to compile a list for him of several more annoying vampires that I wouldn’t mind if he “took care of” next.

I feel like my hands are tied here.  I pretty much have to hand the man 5 X‘s for his effort.  His bat-hunting technique was close to flawless, though as professional entertainer, he should’ve gone a little Ozzy Osbourne-esque and bit the head off the bat, right at the free throw line.  PETA would’ve gone even more crazy than they already did, and that would’ve earned Manu full marks.

*completely uncited

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An Oral History of the Zombie War

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World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

Having not really read a book since high school, I decided it was time to discover if I had become illiterate.  I was smart about it though.  I wasn’t about to jump into reading anything too challenging and run the risk of destroying my self-confidence.  Walking around Borders, judging each book by its cover, the blood splatters (and 50% off sticker) on World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War caught my eye.  As a New York Times Bestseller, it seemed like a safe read at just under 1 inch thick and 342 pages long.

The first thing to note is that it’s not written like a “traditional” book.  There are no chapters, no main characters, and no fluent storyline.  Instead, it’s written as a collection of futuristic interviews with fictional people that survived the zombie infection.  At first I wasn’t sure how I felt about this method of story telling, but by the end I realized that it is an absolutely perfect way to write a story about such a seemingly implausible apocalypse.  Max Brooks‘ technique of leaving gaps between the events in interviews allows the reader to use his imagination to piece together his own story, thus scaring the hell out of himself.

By the middle of the book, the authentic and emotional feel of the interviews begins to confuse those with active imaginations into believing this isn’t exactly a fictional story.  It’s been about a week since I finished reading through it, and I am seriously now more worried about a zombie infestation than a nuclear holocaust.  Brad Pitt must have felt the same way, his production company is producing screen-adapted version of the book.

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Michael Crabtree’s Hold-out Strategy

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The hot news this morning is that Michael Crabtree, the 49ers talented 10th overall pick from this past year, has finally agreed to a dealReportedly, it’s a 6 year deal, though the financial specifics have yet to be released.  You read that correctly, he finally signed a contract – 4 weeks into the NFL schedule!  That sort of timing is a little unorthodox, but I can’t help but think it was a beautifully crafted strategic plan by Crabtree and his cousin-turned-agent Eugene Parker to completely avoid being around Brett Favre during the 49er’s week 3 match up with the Minnesota Vikings.  Trust me, not even (prospective) NFL players like that guy.

After the April 29th draft, Crabtree and Parker opened negotiations with the 49ers by referencing mock draft projections and insisting that Crabtree’s mock-draft ranking entitled him to a higher paid contract than the Raider’s 7th overall pick Darrius Heyward-Bey.  This isn’t typically how professional agents negotiate, which led me to wonder if Crabtree had simply hired Parker for his prowess at fantasy football.  Parker seems like that guy in your fantasy football league that way overvalues Tony Romo because “ESPN ranked him as a top 5 QB this year.”

Despite this unprofessional start to the negotiations, I really liked what Crabtree and Parker did.  They gave Crabtree more than enough time to completely recover from the stress fracture in his foot, and managed to give him a relaxing summer break.  They knew what kind of personnel the Niners had and just wanted to wait long enough for them to realize that they really need him on the field wearing crimson and gold.  To date, the 49ers rank 28th in total offense and passing yards, and none of their receivers rank in the league’s top 50 in terms of receptions.

In the end, was holding out so long really necessary? Yes, I do believe so. After all, yesterday was the first day that M.C. Hammer was available to help out with discussions.

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New Belgium’s Skinny Dip Beer

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According to their website, New Belgium Brewing created Skinny Dip in an attempt to create a “highly drinkable beer for after workouts.”  Since I’m fairly well known for my prowess at the gym, as well as my love for completely negating my workout by pumping beer into my stomach after pumping iron, I had a positive impression of Skinny Dip before I’d even taken my first sip!

As it turns out, New Belgium offers an assortment of beers.  You may be familiar with their most popular product, an amber ale dubbed Fat Tire.  While there is nothing wrong with drinking their flagship brew 365 days a year, Skinny Dip maintains an important niche as their seasonal summer offering.  It’s easy to tell this beer apart from the rest on the  first taste – it really brings to mind a summer afternoon or evening!  I noticed an initial citrus, almost tangy-like flavor followed by a crisp finish.  The taste of hops was definitely noticeable, but not overwhelming and not enough to make the beer overly bitter. It was light enough to quench my post-workout thirst while not filling me up too fast.

While I am no beer expert (evidenced by the lax use of ‘beer-tasting’ terms in the previous paragraph), I hear there are three things that matter most to  a beer: the initial taste, the ‘body’ of the beer, and the finish.  In my opinion, Skinny Dip balances the three very well.  In fact, the only drawback about this beer is the fact that after it’s gone, you have to wait until the following summer to buy it again!  Everything about Skinny dip — from the provocative picture on the front of the label, to the crisp finish — makes for a delightful combination that I would recommend to everyone! First-time beer drinkers (of legal age, of course), to well-seasoned connoisseurs alike!

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