Manu Ginobili’s Bat-Hunting Skills

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Unable to establish a working relationship between man and beast (like the Raiders’ special teams pigeon), a fed up San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili reminded a bat flying around AT&T Center Saturday night that it was not in the current lineup and needed to GTFO.  Not much is known about the bat itself, except that it marks the first time* an NBA game has been delayed due to a bat playing the 6th man of a box-and-one zone.  Is it just coincidence then, that the bat chose to take part in the Spurs’ Halloween home game?  It seems pretty obvious to me.  That was definitely no bat.  It was a stone cold vampire!

Manu knocked out that little rodent with such skill, I was tempted to double-check his NBA profile to make sure that Ginobili wasn’s just a nickname disguising his birth-name of Manu Van Helsing!  Despite his lack of an established vampire-killing name, I can only assume that his Argentinian upbringing gives him some super-vampire-hunting-skills that us Americans just don’t have.  After recognizing this fact, I took the time to compile a list for him of several more annoying vampires that I wouldn’t mind if he “took care of” next.

I feel like my hands are tied here.  I pretty much have to hand the man 5 X‘s for his effort.  His bat-hunting technique was close to flawless, though as professional entertainer, he should’ve gone a little Ozzy Osbourne-esque and bit the head off the bat, right at the free throw line.  PETA would’ve gone even more crazy than they already did, and that would’ve earned Manu full marks.

*completely uncited

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Michael Crabtree’s Hold-out Strategy

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The hot news this morning is that Michael Crabtree, the 49ers talented 10th overall pick from this past year, has finally agreed to a dealReportedly, it’s a 6 year deal, though the financial specifics have yet to be released.  You read that correctly, he finally signed a contract – 4 weeks into the NFL schedule!  That sort of timing is a little unorthodox, but I can’t help but think it was a beautifully crafted strategic plan by Crabtree and his cousin-turned-agent Eugene Parker to completely avoid being around Brett Favre during the 49er’s week 3 match up with the Minnesota Vikings.  Trust me, not even (prospective) NFL players like that guy.

After the April 29th draft, Crabtree and Parker opened negotiations with the 49ers by referencing mock draft projections and insisting that Crabtree’s mock-draft ranking entitled him to a higher paid contract than the Raider’s 7th overall pick Darrius Heyward-Bey.  This isn’t typically how professional agents negotiate, which led me to wonder if Crabtree had simply hired Parker for his prowess at fantasy football.  Parker seems like that guy in your fantasy football league that way overvalues Tony Romo because “ESPN ranked him as a top 5 QB this year.”

Despite this unprofessional start to the negotiations, I really liked what Crabtree and Parker did.  They gave Crabtree more than enough time to completely recover from the stress fracture in his foot, and managed to give him a relaxing summer break.  They knew what kind of personnel the Niners had and just wanted to wait long enough for them to realize that they really need him on the field wearing crimson and gold.  To date, the 49ers rank 28th in total offense and passing yards, and none of their receivers rank in the league’s top 50 in terms of receptions.

In the end, was holding out so long really necessary? Yes, I do believe so. After all, yesterday was the first day that M.C. Hammer was available to help out with discussions.

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